Vinyasa, Vomit and Things That are Different Now

One of my resolutions this year was to incorporate more yoga into my workout routine. So far so good, I've taken quite a few different yoga classes. Here are the things I've learned. Although great for relaxation, it takes quite a bit of class time to decompress after:

1. Calling days ahead for days before that to try and reserve child care in the already packed gym child care center that matches the time of class (reservations are made in half hour blocks, class doesn't always start on the half hour - and some classes are 90 minutes with only an hour available for childcare, etc.)
2. Getting one (some days both) kid(s) in the car, making sure everyone has everything they need in their diaper bags, snacks, water, paci's, etc. Oh yeah and shoes. Shoes and pants are always good. 
3. Parking, making sure the doors can open to get the kids out, walking in the gym holding a kid's hand, two bags (maybe three), car seat with baby. The blanket drops as I'm looking for the gym card, I lean over to pick it up, Iggy runs off, stuff falls out of my bag. Breathe. 
4. Checking kids into childcare. Cries, screams, drool. "Look, over there! Elmo!" Run.
5. Getting to the yoga room, taking off shoes, wishing I'd gotten that pedicure last week. 
6. NO space. Asking people to move over. Only visible floor space is RIGHT in front of the instructor. I highly doubt its a good idea to have me up front. I hope they practice with their eyes closed. 
7. It's hot. I'm already flustered from my travel here. Very close to my neighbors. They seem serene and relaxed. I feel bad that my flustered energy is probably knocking them over. Then I get flustered about that.
8. The instructor starts by greeting us in a low, soft, comforting voice. Thank God. As much as I want to listen, this is my time (4 minutes of so while she talks us through some key points) to tune her out and try to take a few deep breathes so I can have a somewhat productive workout/meditation session. Here we go.
9. The class starts. We do poses like this one. Except mine does not look like that. Maybe I should have listened to the suggestions at the start of class!
10.  The best part comes around... meditation and relaxation at the end. Laying side by side in a hot room with 30 or so strangers with eyes closed, soft music (or no music) and dim lighting can be surprisingly insightful, relaxing, amazing. In those five minutes I have time to think about and acknowledge feelings and desires deep within my heart (my mind?) and also not think about anything at all. I decide I'm going to write a book. I decide I'm going to let go of anger. I decide I'm going to guard myself from negative influences. I decide I will do more yoga. Blissful.

At lunch, still blissing (new word) we are too lazy to go to the grocery store so frozen Kashi pizza for lunch it is. I know! I'll make a healthier decision by eating only a slice of pizza and will make a salad from the spinach, tomatoes and cucumbers in the fridge. How old is that spinach anyway? Oh well can't be that old. Famous. Last. Words.
Throughout the day I grew more and more nauseous. Oh, God, I thought. Am I...? Are Iggy and Babygirl ready for another baby? Are we...? That's an easy answer! By 5pm I had accepted my fate. God's plan, not mine. Here we go. Baby number three. Head spinning.
By 7pm (post pregnancy test and post-vomit session) I realized I was wrong. It wasn't a baby. Damn spinach. 7pm - 3am. Can't hold down water. Ice chips even make me nauseous. Maybe I should make a pallet by the toilet? Daddy sleeping with Iggy so he doesn't wake up. Babygirl in our bed, asleep. Please, please stay asleep. Can't imagine consoling a crying baby when I can barely keep my head up. Next morning, lost five pounds.

Next day becomes a day of recovery. I did get to spend some time with my new nephew while my kiddos were at daycare. We slept for the two hours his mommy was away. I used to never take naps during the day - couldn't. Things that are different. I also used to be a neat freak, extremely organized, sometimes reckless (in a fun and casual way). Things that are different. I used to want to go shopping and get something cute for the weekend. Now it's something cute that will only get slobber and drool all over it. Things that are different. I used to love talking on the phone (literally, hours), going out to lunch, driving around for no reason, getting my nails done. Who has that kind of time?? Besides, all I want to do is cuddle with my babies All. The. Time. Things that are different. I used to spend three hours a day working out or more. Track practice. Now I am SO excited when I get/make an hour to workout. Things that are different.

I used to rely on others to feel connected. Friends, family, significant others. Now I know that my heart lives in my babies. And even as I spent all night vomiting, thinking "at least it's food poisoning and I'm not pregnant", the next morning I felt awful for thinking that. Any child is a blessing. No matter the financial strain, hardships, inconvenience. All you need is love. Things that are different.